Yours Lurvingly

2009-10-04T14:16:00.002+08:00

Saw that limited edition white coloured care bear at my cousin's room yesterday.

Mixed feelings was felt again.

Sigh.

Will it be mine someday?

2009-10-02T13:31:00.002+08:00

Day 4
2nd Oct 2009
Sunny

Yesterday, woke up to the similar feeling that I had for the past few days. Decided not to stay at home so I could hit the books and do a little revision as O levels are just around the corner. In the end, met up with some clique mates. When I was going through my geog notes, ZY called. After he hung up the phone, he texted me not to contact anymore. My face changed instantly. We quarreled by text. He was unhappy about me sitting C during the birthday celebration as he saw the photos we took at Fb. Aftermath, he told me to stay tune for his Fb pictures this saturday cause it was revenge time. After reading that text, I went fuming mad. REVENGE!? My personal point of view about Revenge, it is fucking childish and when there's revenge in love, there's no point carrying on the relationship. I didn't know why my reaction was so big and I told ZY that I accept the fact that he is gone forever and many many harsh words. ZY called regarding the stars. For the first time in my whole life, I used vulgarities on him. When I shouted those fuck you, knn, ccb and telling him that I am at C's house which I am not in a harsh tone to spite him, my heart ached somehow. I just did that out of anger. For those who know me well, they should know once I got mad or explode, I just loose control of myself and vent everything out. I always say awful things or do stupid retarded things which I didnt mean it. Moments later, ZY texted me that he wanted to talk over the phone cause he wanted to tell me every single thing. At that moment upon reading the text, I felt I hurted ZY very deeply. It must be I hurted him till the extent that his heart couldn't take it any longer that is what make him came up with the decision of telling me every single thing. My cellphone died on me. I rushed back home, bathed and all. Just when I on the phone, ZY called. He told me that whatever he wants to say he had typed it in a message and sent it over to me. I told him to hold on while I read the message. After reading the message, there's so much that I want to tell him. Thus, today blog entry is indeed going to be a long one.

Zhang Yi,
There's so much that I want to tell you till I really don't know where to start. Hmmm, I understand how you feel about WL issue. I understand how you feel about your family. Little did I know, about the C_____ stuff. However, now I understand why you did everything in the past. Remember the message I texted you a few days ago? No matter what is going to happen to you in life, I just want to stick with you through everything. Even if it is a bad outcome, I am willing to go through it with you. What matters most is happiness during the period of time we are given. I am very touched that you hide it from me cause you did not want me to worry and get hurt. You questioned me about my form of waiting. I can tell you from my bottom of my heart, I didn't do anything since day one to betray you. Ridz is a good friend of mine thus I went for his birthday celebration. When you said break with all your actions and words, it just made me feel you are over me. Not totally over me but almost there. You give me the impression that you gave up on me but you still have a little feelings for me. So while waiting for that small percentage of feelings to fade away, you are still talking to me to somehow ease your pain. Once you are over me totally, you would just stop all the contacts. You told me, there isn't a need for me to report to you anymore cause you don't care and I am free to do so. Somehow, I took it seriously. For the past whole week, the way you treat me is super fucked up. For the first few days after the break up, you didn't care at all. Your replies are all one word. The way you treat me is like you put me in a boat and at times, you turn left, at times, you turn right causing me to feel nauseous and so lost. With the impression you give me, I got to take some precaution so that if even things turn negative at least I am still able to take my O level papers without being affected much. Honestly, I didn't know I was so wrong about everything till last night. Little did I know, you still cared and love me as much as before. Just that you are putting up a show for my own well being. I take back the words I said yesterday. I didn't even mean it in the first place. I am sorry for being so harsh on my words. I know you are affected by C's stuff now cause I met him twice with friends around. Didn't even talk much with him. We don't chat like how friends usually chat cause that is how we are since years ago. About the photo issue, I didn't initiate any photos to be taken with C. It was just random candid shots. I happen to sit beside him is cause Ridz wanted to be the photographer and he was like sitting between us initially. So all of just go with the flow. Fyi, after we finish cam whoring, we went to another place to slack and I didn't sit with him. I really didn't know you cared so much still cause from your actions you just make me feel like you are kicking me out of your life any moment. I promise, C's stuff will never happened again.

The bottom line of everything, I really did waited for you and I am still waiting. Faithfully, of course. I didn't do anything that betrayed you. Thanks for showing me how much you cared for me. From the C____ stuff which you have been hiding from me till C's stuff. You didn't make a big fuss over such a small thing. You did that cause you love me and you cared about me. Somehow, I am happy to know that. After all that happened, I felt I loved you more. If I have the chance to get back together with you again, I promise, the first thing I will do is to rush down to your house and give you one big hug and kiss and tell you how much I love you face to face. Initially, I wanted to tell you how much I love you here but after a second thought, if I am given a second chance, I would tell you face to face how much I love you cause it is more meaningful and memorable that way.

I haven't tell ZY before, how I felt about him when we are together. Perhaps, today, I should do it. When I am with him, I felt like the world most fortunate girl. His hugs are super warm. His kisses are super sweet. I like it the most when he always do silly faces to cheer me up whenever I cry. I felt he is a very good friend, boyfriend and husband. Oh ya! Father too. I can see from the way he cares about his little brother. He is a super nice guy. Sometimes, too nice till people might take advantage of him. He protects his love ones unconditionally. He is very emotional but that is a good side of him. He treasures everything around him, esp, his friends. That is what makes him so special. So special that he is the only one for me.

I love you, my one and only.
It has been a week since I last saw you.
I miss you truckloads.
I hope I can see you soon.
Prolly, you wouldnt want to see me anymore.
BUT
I will pray hard for an another chance to meet up.
We will overcome this together right?
You know how much I love you.
I know you do.
Would you give me a second chance?
I will be waiting for your answer.
I really don't wish to live life without you.
It's tormenting.
Real tormenting.

2009-10-01T10:39:00.003+08:00

Day 3
1st Oct 2009
Sunny

Yesterday it was Ridz's birthday celebration. We went to Vivo City and Marina Square. ZY and me sure do have memories there. Especially, Vivo City. I was thinking about him the whole time at the same time I was trying not to affect the rest's mood. In the movie theater, I didn't know why flash backs of me and him just keep flashing through my mind. I tried to sleep during the ads but I failed. However, I managed to fall asleep at the beginning of the show. The places we went yesterday was the places that me and him went the other time. Managed to saw a cute dog at Pet Safari this time though. I saw the hamsters, I kinda regret not buying them the other time. Cause I always wanted some living thing which is own by us but yeah, now I am crossing my fingers for a second chance. Perhaps, if I am lucky enough to get that second chance, I would buy them. To Marina, I thought of him too. I still remember people from the wedding shop approaching us about getting married. I still remember he told me that day we are meant to be. Sigh. I tried to hold back my tears and calm down so that I can have my dinner. Haven't been eating much lately. Since I am with my friends, I tried to eat as much as I could cause I know when I am all alone again. I would be moodless for meals again. The whole day I was thinking, what is ZY doing? Have he eaten his lunch/dinner? Is he bored while his friends are at camp? Is he dota-ing? Who does he goes to when he is bored? Who accompany did he found? Who is that lucky girl or guy? Did he flirt with any girls or did any girls flirt him? Is he with any girls in a very close term now? In his heart, does he still loves me? Have he given up totally on me? Is everything alright for him at home? and many many more. He said he doesnt want to talk about this. Maybe he still needs more time. He said he wished his girlfriend was Chang Zai Xin. In my heart, I am just like her. I didn't do anything that would hurt you. I love you wholeheartedly like how she love Alfred. Everything I did, I had your interest. Maybe I am not as sweet as her but if I am given a second chance, I would be even more sweeter than before. Will this nightmare end or will it last for a lifetime?

I am faithfully waiting for you.
I didnt go around and flirt.
Cause I really want you back in my life.

2009-09-30T09:30:00.004+08:00

Day Two
30th Sept 2009
Sunny

My heart is dead.
So is my blog.

Since the day you left me,
I was shattered.

Cause what you heard isn't true at all.
I can swear upon my whole family.
BUT
I know, you lost faith in me.
Lost trust.
Choose to believe them than in me.
I am super devastated.
I wish I was given a second chance.
Cause I am really innocent.
Everything was a misunderstanding.
I don't want to loose you just like that.
Putting on a strong front in front of you.
Just for the sake of it.
I felt damm wasted.
Why is this happening to me?
I was the most fortunate girl in the world.
Now?
Fuck you people who miscomprehended the whole fucking story and started to spread all these rumors.
It is you people who caused me to loose him.
Are you people happy now?
That I am suffering like hell.
He is really my everything.
Do you people know that my O's are just around the corner?
Do you people know how much he meant to me?
Do you people know now there is changes at home?
Why you people like to put your own happiness onto other's misery?
Is it that my whole world crumbles than you people will be happy and stop everything?
This isnt a show.
I really love him alot.
I will prove it to him by waiting for him.
Yes, I might not be as good as his ex.
Always getting information about him at first hand notice.
BUT
I have a heart which is loving him wholeheartedly since 23rd August 2009.
Till now, it is still beating for him.
If fate and destiny allows, bring him back to me.
Cause my life really sucked without him.
Every single little thing I do reminds me of him.
I didn't once did anything to hurt him deeply.
I didn't betray him.
I don't know what I did that I had to suffer all these shit.
I hate waking up in the morning knowing that i miss him truckloads yet I can't do anything.
Love isn't bullshit.
Not all girls are cb!
I am different.
Maybe I used to be one.
BUT
Since the day I know him,
I am changed person.
Why I have to loose the one I love the most in life other than my family for sucha reason?
Dear God,
Why is this happening to me?
I've changed.
Why are you putting me through misery again?
Do you know now I have so many things to fear?
I really dread of the day he had a change of heart.
I really love him alot.
Too much to loose him.
Fuck everything now.
I just can't accept the fact he isn't mine anymore.
What can I do now?
I am super worried about him.
I really hope god will give him the ability and strength to get the best things out of life.
I really hope god will give him the ability and strength to believe in me.
I really hope god will tell him, he actually misunderstood me.
Cause whatever we people are doing.
You, god knows about our actions vividly.
I wanna prove to him, I ain't like what those girls told him about me.
I am a good girl.
I don't phunk with guys heart.
My love for him is real.
All the friends around me can feel that.
BUT
Why the main male lead just can't feel that?

I miss him so much.
I love him more than words could said.

This ain't a show, it's reality.
If can, please don't give up on me and love.
I beg you, don't give up on me and love.
I will prove to you my innocence, my love and I am worth a second chance.
Wei shen me xing fu shi ni ren xin li qu?
Wei shen me nian fen kai dou yao qian jiu ni?
Ai hui yong yuan yong yuan ni shuo de, li kai wo de shi hou yi dian ye she bu de.
I really need you in my life.

Does ZY miss me like I do?
Does ZY still love me like I do?
Is ZY still trying to salvage our r/s like what I am doing?
I really dont want this love to go down the drain just like that.
It isn't worth it.
We should even end it.
Cause I really didnt do the things that was rumored.
Did I loose the ability to make ZY touched?
Is it ZY had given up on me totally?
Is it whatever I do I can't make ZY to be mine again?
I really fear that I've lost that ability.
ZY means really alot to me.
Seeing him in this state now.
It hurts me so badly.
On top of it, the hurt from the break up.
I really dont want to loose him so badly.
I really wish we can be like Chang Zai Xin and Alfred minus-ing the part Alfred died.
Sigh!
I pray hard that he doesn't visit my blog anymore
Cause I know he will be irritated if he see such long posts again.
BUT
This is my space, this is the only space whereby I can let my feelings out.
I am just venting and ranting.
Blogging and crying at the same time seems to be my fav. activity now.
I just feel so terrible lah.

2009-09-29T13:15:00.004+08:00

Day One
29th Sept 2009
Sunny

Today I have decided to leave ZY alone till O's are over. So from today onwards, it will just be our one text per day deal. Though, I will still text him at times to shower him with care and concern. Not forgetting, love. It was really a very tough decision to make but still I did it. I am taking the risk cause I love him alot. In fact, even more than I thought I did. Anyway, ZY just called me. Asking me whether I was alright. Told him my first lie. I wasn't alright. I wanted to tell him I needed him so badly but since I have decided to leave him alone till O's are over. I have to do this. Sorry ZY. I know you will understand. Changes at home, I have to adapt. Being the eldest sucks. Cause if anything happens to the family, is the eldest who is the one who feel the most. After what had happened at home, suddenly, a thought came into my mind. Is ZY feeling the same way too? Being the eldest too. Suffering everything. Even though our parents may say that they do not need us to worry or share their burden with them but we as the eldest, somehow, we really feel like helping the family out. I was kind of hurt when I actually heard ZY saying good. When he was surprised that I didn't pester to chat awhile longer with him on the phone which I will usually do. I really wanted to spend alittle more time with him cause chatting with him is like having him by my side but like I said, since I have decided to leave him alone till O's, I have to do this. Yes, it is hard on me but to me, it is all worth it. If I really can keep him by my side after one month+. Everything is worth it. I choose to believe that between us there is still a glimmer of hope. Honestly, it is real hard to fake a smile telling everyone you are okay but actually you are not. I guess, I always learn things the hard way. I really miss ZY. I miss everything about him. It's only day one. No, in fact, day 5 to be exact. I believe everything he is doing now. He has his reasons. I was bruised and battered by him actually. He said there isn't a need to discuss with me over such an important stuff. He doesnt want to talk to me. He has nothing to talk to me. Other stuff seems to take over my position in his heart. His reply is all in one word form. The way he reply me hurts me alot as in the content plus the form. Despite all the hurt, I don't mind going through this cause I really love him alot.

/Edited
He told me his reasons. He wanted a break up. I agreed reluctantly. I really wish he could be mine again. Cause I really did nothing wrong. He told me love was bullshit. He told me all girls are cheebyes. He said I made him felt this way. I really did nothing. I hope he believes in me. He changed his fb pw. I was sad in a way. I felt this time he is really gone. Gone to a very far away place. I tried to hold back my tears but I just couldn't do so. I felt I lost him for something which I never did. This is so hard on me. If I did something wrong, I would be speechless but in actual fact, I did nothing. It is so hard to find a person with so many things in common with you. I found the person, I treasured him but I loose him for something which I didnt did but I understand how he feels totally. I really wish one day he can swallow this down and accept me again. Cause I am really innocent. I really did nothing. Everything towards him, I give him my 101%. I put in my heart and soul in him yet . . . Sigh. I want my silly boy back. Now you're gone, I feel so empty. I have lost my soul and heart. Please don't give up on me cause I really love you alot. Don't doubt me. I will prove to you. I really will.

2009-09-28T12:49:00.003+08:00

Back to my life with emo posts.
Happiness are always short lived for me, I guessed?
Sigh.
Haters must be belly deee happy now.
Cause they are seeing me in misery.
I wish I can never see the world anymore.
I just hate this world so much.
Why am I always the one going through misery.
Three blows in a year.
Something great that I've achieved uh?
When you're gone by Avril Lavigne just express my feelings totally.
I hate to zi bao zi qi always.
I know my parents are hurt seeing me in this state.
BUT
I just can't control myself.
I just feel like isolating myself in the room.
I am seriously still clueless about what is happening.
I am sure it is more than the eyes meets.
O levels seems so far away.
I wish it was just like tmr?
I need an escape so badly.
Maybe alcohol is a good choice yeah?
Better than being childish, slitting my wrist or drowning myself into sleep.
I just dont want to loose you.
Do you know how important you are to me?
You want me to mug for my O's.
I will.
Just give me a day to get wasted after that I will be fine.
I will mug for O's.
And wait for that very day to arrive.
Please tell me everything is not a show, it's reality, we still have a glimmer of hope.
Sigh.
How could this happened to me?
I swear upon my whole family.
To all my readers, stalkers or passer bys.
I ain't that C_E_P.
Believe it or not.
I never agree on having any _E_U_A_ activities with any guys.
I think I got to make myself clear.
Cause I believe such stalkers or kaypohs or haters will read my blog eventually.
And I want to get this fact into your brains.
I AM INNOCENT!
I DONT KNOW WHY, HOW AND WHO STARTED THE RUMORS.
BUT
MY CONSCIENCE IS FUCKING CLEAR.
Cause of that ass I've lost a best friend and a lover.
I can't afford to loose another lover cause of this ass!
You people will never feel me.
Yes, I am a hot topic but you all gossip w/o putting yourselves into my shoes.
Thankyouverymuchforthatyoupeople.
I really wish to know the awful truth soon.
Why is it the minutes feel like hours, hours feel like days, days feel like months, months feel like years when I am alone?

I shall go and force myself to eat something before I see that sad sad face on my parents face.

P/S:
I HATE LIFE NOW.

2009-09-26T17:49:00.002+08:00

In this space,
I only want to jot down happy moments about us.
Thus, whenever I am unhappy or things between us are bad, I didn't blog it out.
Friends are more important than you?
Please don't ever think that way.
Whatever I do, you are always the first thing that comes into my mind.
I would think of you before them.
Believe it or not.
In my heart, you are always my first priority.
Trust me, nothing matters more than you.
Perhaps, from the way I speak and my action shows you that my friends are much more important but the truth is you are the important one.

Do you know each time I see you cry,
my heart felt like there is a razor blade repeatedly dragging through it.
It just hurt so bad.
I want to be there for you so badly when you needed someone.
I know you want and need some time alone.
BUT
Do you know how I feel?
I don't want you to suffer everything alone.
I want to let you know you are not alone.
I am there, there for you.
To wipe your tears and comfort you.
You chased me away.
Still, I wanted to stay.
Till things were out of my wits, I left.
Cause I didnt want you to flare up and I didn't want to worsen your mood.

You really want to feel how I feel?
Yesterday, the first time you didn't text me in the morning.
Waking up to this weird feeling.
Imagination started to run wild.
I controlled myself.
I told myself, (Sheena, Trust him, Nothing is wrong. He just merely forgot to text you)
I was convincing myself, everything was alright.
Somehow, I sense something wasn't right.
Plus my ugly past made things worse.
Little actions that you did just make sucha huge impact on me.
Another example,
This morning, I kept calling you but you are not responding to my calls.
Do you know how sucky and fucked up I was feeling?
I just wanted to hear your voice so badly.
I just needed you to ensure I am still the only one for you.
Cause little did I know, you were mad about me.
Thus, I thought you had a change of heart or something like that.
I wanted to tell you how insecure I was.
BUT
I just don't want to add on to your burden and stress.
I want to ease your pain and face and solve the problems you had together.
BUT
You just can't open up to me.
Sigh.
I know the number of problems I am facing and the amount of stress is nothing compare to yours.
Thus, let me share the burden and stress with you, will you?

I really don't know what the fuck am I typing above.
All I know is I really love you, Chien Zhang Yi.
And it sucks to see you in misery.
I really wish I was the one going through this.

Labels: Jumbled up thoughts

2009-09-26T10:11:00.002+08:00

Betrayals.
HAHA!
I ain't that naive as before.
I had enough of heartbreaks.
I really have to walk the safe route.
To prevent myself from being hurt.
Today,
Who can I blame?
No one but myself.
I choose this route, I bear the consequences.
I am trying so hard not to be affect by it.
Cause O levels, that bloody bitch is waiting for me to own it.
I can't let this trivial stuff affect my route to success.
TRUST?
SERIOUSLY, WHO THE FUCK IN THIS WORLD CAN I TRUST?
Why is life sucha bitch?
Sigh!
I'd rather those people who want to hurt me to just fuck off from my life than hurt me aftermath fuck off.
Sickening assholes.
I don't owe you people any shit!

Why is this happening to me?
This isn't the life I've ordered.
FUCK IT!

2009-09-25T09:30:00.005+08:00

Every decision or action you make has its consequences.
And you got to bear the consequences.

O levels is sucha bitch!
I didn't manage to finish the chapter on Development yesterday.
Cause I procrastinate as usual :X

On a brighter note,
I am going to remove my stitches tmr.
Can't wait cause I want to write so badly.
In fact, I want to drown myself into books.
I want to isolate myself from the cruel world.
Don't ya agree?
Reality is cruel.
O well, Face it bitch!
This is life.

Self Note:
:D
Always look on the bright side of life.
*whistles*

2009-09-24T18:01:00.002+08:00

I am feeling super shitty now.
I really wish my fingers could recover like as soon as possible.
I need to write so badly.
I wanna chiong my ten years series.
I wanna chiong my last minute revision.
O's are in like less than a month time?
Wtf!
I haven't even started studying.
When I want to start such shit happened.
):
I tried memorizing the chapter on development just now
BUT
I failed.
I really need to be focus and get done and over with this O levels.
I really need to move on.
I am kinda confident with my english paper.
The rest I am so not prepared for it.
I know, Geog wouldnt be a problem.
SS uh!
Anyone can give me tips for SEQ?
Which mutha fcuking topic will come out?
Sciences are okay.
Maths, more practice.
Hopefully, I can create miracles.
I so dont want to go ITE lah!
Pass another two more!
NAFA, I also happy.
FUCK O levelsssssssssssssssss!
Cross fingers*
I will be able to finish the chapter development by today.

2009-09-23T20:36:00.001+08:00

We're one month old!!!!!!! (Y)

2009-09-20T15:33:00.004+08:00

So yesterday. . .
- Cabbed to Baby's place.
- We went Bugis before heading down to Vivo City
- I was not in the right state of mind.
- I tried super hard to tune in to the mood to celebrate our first month (Advanced).
- Unfortunately, I still failed.
- Anyway, Baby bought a shirt while I bought a pair of flats at Bugis.
- Mrt-ed to Vivo.
- Met his friends there.
- We caught Phobia 2.
- I will rate the show 1.5/5 popcorns.
- It is super boring plus it is not even scary.
- After the movie, Baby and I parted from them.
- We went to queue for Sushi Tei.
- The food was delicious.
- So it was worth the money afterall.
- Walked around Vivo to digest the food we consumed.
- Aftermath, we cabbed to Serangoon.
- Slacked there
- HSH at 12am

2009-09-18T21:31:00.002+08:00

What a horrible experience! > ):

2009-09-15T11:50:00.002+08:00

Pause the music from my music player and watch this.
This is a must watch video!
(-:

2009-09-14T21:43:00.001+08:00

I've lost the courage to trust the people in my life.
Who will betray my trust and hurt me, I really don't know.
I've been betrayed not only once or twice.
To be frank, I had already lost count for the number of times I have been betrayed be it by my boyfriends and friends.
The hurt and damage they inflicted on me left me with a phobia of getting hurt.
To be together with ZY, it took me plenty of courage to take that risk and give him my trust.
Everyday, I am crossing my fingers that he won't do anything stupid to betray my trust and hurt me.
As I know if that happens, I will be in doom shitxz!
I think I might even have suicidal thoughts.
Cause I will be fucking lost and hurt at that point of time.
Honestly,
Who can I trust?
Apart from my family.
Friends?
Laugh my ass out!
The one that I placed the most trust in betrayed me.
It has been months since I learned about that news but still I find it super hard to accept reality that he did this to me.
It's like super unexpected and disappointing, you know?
Sigh.
Perhaps, I am too naive and nice.
That's why everyone is taking advantage of me or using my weak point to attack me and see in misery.
Today,
If my heart breaks, it's gonna hurt so bad.
I'm strong, but I can't take that.
I don't think I'll survive a heartbreak again.
Gotta start to learn to protect my heart and soul.
Why must the truth always be so awful?
Why must reality always be cruel?
Is it true that one can only trust him or herself in life?

Labels: Trust, The phobia of being hurt.

2009-09-14T12:59:00.000+08:00

I got a feeling this saturday is going to be a great day.
Gotta finish up my first month gift for my honey boo!
So I won't be blogging till then (:
Bear with the silence alright?
I promise the next post will be a proper long post.

2009-09-09T20:47:00.001+08:00

Sorry for the lack of updates.
I've been busy with my silly baby nowadays.
Met up with Jenny yesterday at Amk.
Things between us is like sunshine after the rain.
I'm glad we are friends once again.
Enough of my so yesterday.
Spend my day today with Baby.
Totally lovin' days like today.
Just three words: you meant everything (L)

2009-09-02T18:48:00.002+08:00

I swear, I hate periods to the ultimate maxxxxxxxxx!
Paid the doctor a visit just now.
Cause my maid went to ring my dad up informing him I was fainting and I kept vomiting.
Dad got so worried and he rushed back home from work just to send me to the doctor.
Anyway,
I'm glad that the nightmare was over.

I miss my silly baby truckloads now.
)':

P/S: I love you

2009-09-01T13:00:00.001+08:00

Woke up freaking early yesterday.

Met The Unusuals at somewhere near Bowen's back gate.

Walked to School aftermath.

Met Baby and JK outside school.

Accompanied Baby to take his testimonial.

We got chased out of school cause we were wearing slippers.

We went The Unusuals fav eating place to have our breakfast/lunch or should I say, brunch.

After brunch, we bused down to JK's place.

Left his place for Movie at 12 with Baby.

We caught Overheard.

After the movie,

I went to meet Kelly & Co for another movie, BandSlam while Baby went to meet his friends at ave4.

Thanks Terrence for the movie treat.

After the second movie,

I had a tiff with Baby and my parents.

I'm glad everything is alright now.

Anyway,

It's a new month!

The smell of freedom is getting stronger!

Yay!

2009-08-30T16:10:00.005+08:00

Cabbed over to Baby's place after tuition yesterday.

Stayed in his crib till around 4plus.

Aftermath, we cabbed down to Raffles City.

We were super hungry by then.

Thus, we went to hunt for food.

Decided on Mac cause Baby was craving for his double fillet O fish.

After lunch,

We walked over to Marina Square to buy tickets for Final Destination.

Final Destination was nice but I don't understand why the hell everyone must die.

I was expecting a better ending.

According to Baby, every episode everyone has to die and it's well known for it.

For my personal point of view,

After so many episodes,

I think they should come out with something new and fresh as an ending.

During the movie, I was having gastric and my baby was like damm worried.

Keep insisting of bringing me to the doctor.

Doctors are my enemies, I swear.

I hate visiting them.

So I told him, I'd rather go guardian to buy the medicine since I am only given two choices by HIM.

Cabbed back home with Baby.

Baby alighted at ave 4 to meet his friends while I head back home.

When I reached home, I wasn't feel right and I was tired.

Thus, I decided to sleep.

I didn't even know what I was texting Baby.

I was so tired till the extent when he texted me I love you, I replied, K.

I didn't even remember that I replied him that till he told me.

Anyway,

I am a shitty girlfriend these days.

I've inflicted alot of hurt on Baby and I am feeling damm bad about it.

I promise, Baby, just give me one last chance to change.

I won't let such things happen again.

I won't let anything affect our r/s. (Like doing silly things to make it go sour)

I want to last long with you.

You are the best guy that I ever had and I only want to be in your arms till the day I die.

I don't see myself with anyone but you.

Imagine me without you,

I would be so lost and confused.

I really need you in my life.

Cheer up alright?

You know when I see you sad, I feel sadness within me too.

I want to see the happy you asap okay?

I love you, Baby.

2009-08-28T19:26:00.000+08:00

Haven't been in the right state of mind for these two days.

Perhaps, it could be PMS but I doubt so.

Today Baby had half day off camp so I went over to his place to accompany him.

I guess I saw something that I shouldn't see or didn't want to see.

I was trying to be an understanding girlfriend thus I told him a white lie.

Somehow, my mood was affected by it.

Hmm, actually not only it and some other stuffs too.

I tried my best to keep everything specially that particular thing out of my sight but I failed.

I dont want to be a selfish girlfriend and moreover, it's memories but somehow I feel uneasy still.

Plus, I was chatting with Jenny over msn and I felt it even more when she was telling about her own love issues. (Something similar)

This feeling really sucks.

No matter how hard I tried to suppress that fucking feeling.

It just won't go away.

At that moment, I really wish I was a guy.

Really.

Why can't girls be like guys?

Why must they always get jealous over such trivial stuff.

They can keep their ex-s stuff but their boyfriend can't.

It's like so unfair to the guy.

I don't want to make a fuss out of it but I know when the next time I visit his place, I would be sad once again.

I wanted to ask him to keep them away but I know if I knew he keep it away, I would also be unhappy.

My heart wants him to throw them away but I will feel fucking bad and unreasonable to ask him to do so.

I wanted to tell him how I feel by texting him but I know he sure tell me that he would throw them away but he might keep them away and if I found out that he keep them away cause he still treasure them, I will feel super unhappy and sad. And if he threw those stuff without my presence, I would still feel paranoid and have this feeling that he is keeping those stuff still.

It's not that I don't trust him.

The one that I do not have any trust in is myself.

Argh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just feel so sucky.

I dont know what the fuck to do.

He did so much for me and I should be understanding and not make a fuss over such a trivial issue cause this is nothing compare to everything he did for me but but but I just can't suppress my feelings.

AND

The english O level oral which I had yesterday made things even sucky.

As I screwed quite a few parts of it and I am really disappointed in myself for not being able to achieve a distinction for oral.

Life's sucha bitch.

Aye, no no no.

It should be Sheena's sucha btich (:

I wish I was a better person.

I wish I was a guy.

I wish my heart is numb so I wouldn't feel anything.

I wish, I wish.

Sigh ):

2009-08-26T23:37:00.000+08:00

First date with my super boyfriend.
It was awesomely awesome!
It's like although we are only together for like 4 days but it seems like 4 years.
Everything between us is just so magical and unbelievable.
I gtg already cause my super boyfriend is nagging.

2009-08-25T16:32:00.000+08:00

Blogger is seriously a bitch man!
I love this space more than onsugar but it is always a pain in the ass.
Anyway, I am just here to blog that I miss my super BF to the mexico!!!!!!!!
I can't wait to see him tomorrow.
Gonna watch turning point with him.
Aftermath, he will be sending me to school.
I'm the world's most fortunate girl!
Envy me, cause I got the best BF in the whole universe.

Fear means I have something to lose, right?
And the thing that I don't want to lose is you.

2009-08-23T15:45:00.004+08:00

Do you know how fucking hard I am trying to be your ideal daughter?

You keep comparing me with all those super nerd geeks.

I am totally different from them but for you, I had to be someone that I am not.

You jolly well know that I love going out to chill with my friends

BUT

You still want to keep me at home like some pet dog.

I know, you meant well for my own being.

O levels are around the corner and this is my second time.

BUT

I am still a human being and I need to breathe.

You want me to call you up everyday and spend time with you.

Sometimes, I am just too busy with my own stuff and I admit that I don't have this habit.

You are in my heart and I don't think there's a need to express my love care and concern to you like everyday?

You tell me which daughter don't love their mother.

AND

You still bear that stupid grudge against me.

Till today, you really don't understand me.

What I told him was what I thought of you.

I didn't bullshit or whatsoever.

Who is the real victim of that matter?

It was actually ME not you!

ME okay?

For that period of time when I broke up with JH,

I swear,

I really thought you are not as bad as what I thought you were.

BUT

Once after I recovered from the break up,

You are back to the usual you.

So what is the difference?

This cycle will never end.

I am 18 already and I really can't stand the feeling of being tied up.

I want to be who I am.

The Sheena you are seeing every day is not the REAL Sheena.

I swear, if this continues, after O levels, I will find some job and move to somewhere else.

I really HATE to have conflicts with you

and

I really HATE the fact you always hurt me with those harsh comments.

You are really damm hard to please.

I don't know how much longer can I hold on.

At times, I really wish I could just run away from this home.

Whatever I do, it is always never enough for you.

You said I never once put myself into your shoes.

I swear, I did.

It is you, who never once put YOURSELF into MY shoes.

Bruised and battered by everything.

2009-08-23T00:01:00.003+08:00

Surprise to see me blogging in this space?
I just can't resist the temptation to blog.

I shall do a little update about my current life.

It's over between me and LSH.

We have broken up afew days ago.

It is definitely better for us this way.

We are just not suitable for each other.

Hope he's doing fine now (:

Cause I've moved on.

As for studies wise, my english oral is just this coming thursday.

The thought of it sends chills down my spine.

Hopefully, I am able to do well for this year's oral. (Ain't like last year)

Anyway, I caught G.I Joe today, like finally.

It was an awesome show but still Transformers is the best.

And I really don't know why I am so afraid of killer shows.

Caught Orphan yesterday and it is fucking gruesome.

It was even more gruesome than Friday 13th.

Nightmare!

That's all folks for today's update.

I'll be back soon, I promise :D

Prolly, tomorrow? the day after tomorrow?

I am considering whether I should start blogging again.

And I think I should.

It looks like I have come up with a decision already (:

2009-07-25T13:46:00.004+08:00

I'm leaving this cyber world for the sake of my future.
I will be back only on the 11th of November.
Readers, must miss me okay? (:
The reason why I am leaving is cause I'm left with 3 pathetic months
and I haven't start any revision.
Once bitten, twice shy.
I know the taste of failing this major exam and I can't afford to fail twice.
I won't be as active as I am before on Msn and Facebook too.
Contact me by text/call instead (:
Do visit this site still.
Cause I will be updating my twitter often.

Till then,
Yours Lurvingly,
Sheena Ashley.

2009-07-23T12:04:00.004+08:00

http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test1.aspx

Here is the analysis:

When it comes to love, you fall in love very quickly and easily.
You give 100% to your relationship and expect to receive 0% in return.
If there is a problem in your relationship, you are able to confront it in an optimistic way and full of hope. You want to work it out right away, all by yourself.
You need lots of reassurance in your relationship. You'd like to see your loved one every day, if possible.
You accept your loved one the way they are. You don't expect him or her to change for you.
When you love someone, you tend to stay in love for a long time.

It's so true :)
Somehow, I feel kind of dumb uh?
Giving my 100% but I do not expect anything in return.
Like one love idiot!

Gotta do my tuition homework naoxz!
I might update this space later.

/edited

I am having a slight fever now.
Hopefully, this fever won't get worse.
Anyway,
I am still in a dilemma.
Should I go for RP's musical concert with the clique tomorrow?
:/

2009-07-21T15:53:00.007+08:00

Fuck!
My ear bone is swelling damm badly )-:
All thanks to my itchy mouth and Noven's sway mouth!
And today is definitely not a good day for me.
I think there's a need to do something between us.
We can't go on like this.
We really can't )'-:

2009-07-19T16:00:00.012+08:00

nEbo with my heros was fun.
I'm sorry that I neglected some of them like Chermaine,KayJay,Koh,WeiLei.
Just not in the mood to watch the haunting of the connecticut.
After having our late lunch at nEbO,
we played Uno Stacko!
Our forfeits are challenging, I must say.
After nEbO,
Chermaine & Co went to watch the haunting of the connecticut while the rest of us went to K-Pool.
After a round of pool, we went Mac to slack.
Ghostly ghost was our hot topic.
We kinda had a hard time to decide where to go next.
In the end, we decided to walk around Amk Hub.
Koh called upon leaving Mac.
So after walking around at Amk Hub, we went to find the rest.
I left at around 10 to find Baby Fatty.
Waited for Xiao Ken's sister and boyfriend for quite sometime.
Aftermath, we headed to some coffee shop at Amk as Baby Fatty & his friends wanted to fill their hungry tummies.
At 11plus, Baby Fatty and I bused back to my place.
Slacked at the stairs till 1am.
Gotta go back due to my curfew )':
When I reached home,
Mommy and Daddy grounded me due to O levels.
Seriously, I wish I can get done and over with O levels like tomorrow?
I'm so sick and tired of curfews!

Ridz and Kel
So sweet and lovin' man!

T-W-I-S-T

Pher looked like some pool pro here.
Like cool only!

I look fugly here.
Ridz and Me :D

Kelly + Sheena = Kelena

Another bird face of mine
but
Kelly look cute here :D

My love potion was nice.
Didn't know nEbO will serve sucha nice drink.
(:

2009-07-19T01:55:00.001+08:00

Just came back moments ago from Amk.
Super tiredddddd!
I will update tomorrow (:

2009-07-17T23:15:00.002+08:00

I'm on the phone with Baby naoxz!
Got to sleep early.
nEbO with some heros tomorrow
Can't wait!
Cya tomorrow :]

2009-07-15T22:35:00.004+08:00

Just reached home moments ago.
I love Wednesdays!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Cause that's when I get to meet my Baby.
Met Gladys at J8 for dinner.
This girl was feeling rich today.
So we had Swensens.
Baby called when I just left Swensens.
So went over to meet Baby and Lionel.
Accompanied Lionel to buy his food.
Aftermath, Lionel headed back home while Baby & I went Subway.
Finally, I found a boyfriend who loves to eat Subway as much as I do.
Great! :D
LOL!
Bloody fuck!
I am craving for it now!

Nevermind, I will eat it on Saturday.
We went to our fav. hide out and slack again.
Left there around 8.50pm.
Kissed Baby goodbye and went to meet Wei Lei at foyer.
Up to class than down to the canteen to buy drinks.
Catch up a little :)
I miss my heros truckloads man!
That's all for today
I wanna go play facebook games already.
Ciaos!~

2009-07-15T00:57:00.015+08:00

A few days back,
when I was having my retail therapy,
I stopped by the kid's department at Taka to get my niece her all time favourite Barbie doll.
Upon getting her Barbie doll, I came to realize that kids nowadays are super fortunate.
As when I was paying for the Barbie doll,
the kid in front of me was holding on to the latest HTC Magic!
I was like, "This kid phone better than mine siol and it's my dream phone somemore! I am 18 and he is like only 5 or 6? He is so much fortunate than me can? *Envy envy!~*"
I remember vividly that when I was at his age, I didn't even have a handphone.
I had my first phone when I was like primary 6?
I had this phone which was quite popular at that era!
The Nokia 8250.

It's Monochrome graphic )':
Ain't like what kids nowadays own.
They got a phone which is multi coloured with camera, infrared, bluetooth, internet and the list goes on.
It seems like their phone can create wonders you know?
It's super far fetch from my Nokia 8250.
I think the only thing that my Nokia 8250 is good for would be it's games.
You know, the all time family favourite, Snake game.
Apart from that, thumbs down for it.
I still remember in order to get those latest music hits monophonic ringtones
I have to call those download stations to download it.
How dumb!
No doubt, I've wasted quite alot of $kachingxz$ on that download thingy way back then.

Now with technology advanced, we have witnessed the revolution of mobile phones.
It's like watching a pokemon evolved.
From the grand father of all phones
- The Big bulky type, you know, like Phua Chu Kang's which is only used for the basic function of calling
to elegant slim phones with integrated purposes.
Today, we have finally arrived to a higher level of digital age with touch-screen phones that have internet connectivity within it.

Ain't this cool?
Is like you don't have to carry your approximately 2kg laptops around.
All you have to do is just slip in the latest HTC Magic in your pocket.
Yes yes, my dream phone!
Don't play play okay!
My dream phone damm pretty, style and it's functions spells thumbs up.
It's available in two different colours.
Black and white.

The HTC Magic, powered by Android™.

It is designed to turn heads with its chic looks, and command attention with its advanced list of capabilities.
It provides the Google suite of services like Mail and Search geared up for use wherever your life leads you.
Fully customizable Home screen lets you put applications, music or contacts widgets.
Unleash the power of the web with multiple windows and explore what’s hot from Internet. Further Enhanced with Outlook synchronization, Smart Dialer, and an onscreen keyboard with predictive text, Chinese input and handwriting, the HTC Magic is a true entertainment and communication powerhouse that will transform your mobile experience like never before.
It basically allows you to get the most out of a phone that’s as unique as you.

You can start enjoying using your HTC Magic to browse through the net. Perhaps, you might not even notice in the passage of time as browsing the net through HTC Magic makes not difference from browsing the net at your desktop at home or laptop. Browser supports multiple windows view so that you could surf facebook, your friend's blog and even read the latest news of the day without rush. Take your inbox or inboxes with you wherever you go. HTC Magic makes it worry-free with easy account set up, multiple mailbox support and Microsoft Exchange server synchronization for email, calendar and contacts. Simply put, with HTC Magic, you can always keep your personal and office emails flowing.

The high-speed 3.5G network connection and Wi-Fi technology with seamless transition make web browsing a breeze. Those who can't afford to pay the monthly internet subscription fees. This phone is custom made for people just like you. You can simply use your HTC Magic and get yourself connected with the cyber world at Mac'Donalds or places that have Wi-Fi .This phone suits Poly and ITE students perfectly as well. Students like you can easily view PDF files and Mircrosoft® Words and Excel® documents via the PDF Viewer and Quickoffice applications. So you can work on your projects at any where any time on your HTC Magic.

“Social”, “Shopping”, “Travel” and “Entertainment” are just a few flavors from the ever-growing selection of downloads from Android Market, where you can discover and install applications and games that let HTC Magic help you squeeze more out of life.

For people who is as lazy as me and loves to have things their own way. HTC Magic is enhanced with cool HTC goodies like a Smart Dialer and a versatile on-screen keyboard. With that, it allows you call people in whatever way you think, by either dialing their phone number or by dialing the first few letters of their name and let you have the freedom to choose your favorite way to type and the predictive text completion helps you write faster than you can finish your thoughts.

HTC Magic has this cool Barcode scanner thing whereby you can just simply scan the barcode of the item you are interested in and it would help you find out where can you purchase the item you are looking for high and low.

And

When you are on the streets and you are not sure whether you are reaching your destination. You can check your route at Google Maps™. Taxis uncles can also consider this phone. Got GPRS, you know. Nokia Navigator is so yesterday.

HTC Magic has a 3.2 megapixel color camera with auto focus.

Analyzing HTC Magic's brain power
**************************************
Memory ROM: 512 MB
RAM: 288 MB
Expandable to 16GB microSD for all your storage needs

More information about HTC Magic:

Processor	Qualcomm® MSM7200A™, 528 MHz
Operating System	Android
Dimensions	113 x 55.56 x 13.65 mm ( 4.45 x 2.19 x 0.54 inches)
Weight	116 grams ( 4.09 ounces) with battery
Display	3.2-inch TFT-LCD flat touch-sensitive screen with 320x480 HVGA resolution
Network	HSDPA/WCDMA: 900/2100 MHz Up to 2 Mbps up-link and 7.2 Mbps down-link speeds Quad-band GSM/GPRS/EDGE: 850/900/1800/1900 MHz (Band frequency and data speed are operator dependent.)
Device Control	Trackball with Enter button
GPS	Internal GPS antenna
Connectivity	Bluetooth® 2.0 with Enhanced Data Rate and A2DP for wireless stereo headsets Wi-Fi®: IEEE 802.11 b/g HTC ExtUSB™ (11-pin mini-USB 2.0 and audio jack in one)

Audio supported formats	AAC, AAC+, AMR-NB, MP3, WMA, WAV, AAC-LC, MIDI, OGG
Video supported formats	MP4, 3GP
HTC Sync™ system requirements	Microsoft Windows XP Service Pack 2 (SP2) or higher or Microsoft Windows Vista® Microsoft® Office Outlook® 2000/2002/2003/2007, Windows Address Book (Outlook Express), or Windows Contacts
Microsoft® Exchange Server synchronization requirements	Microsoft Exchange Server 2003 Service Pack 2 (SP2) or Microsoft Exchange Server 2007
Battery	Rechargeable Lithium-ion battery Capacity: 1340 mAh Talk time: Up to 400 minutes for WCDMA Up to 450 minutes for GSM Standby time: Up to 660 hours for WCDMA Up to 420 hours for GSM (The above are subject to network and phone usage.)

AC Adapter	Voltage range/frequency: 100 ~ 240V AC, 47/63 Hz DC output: 5V and 1A
Special Features	G-sensor Digital Compass

Are you lookin' for a phone which is pretty and has good functions?
HTC Magic will be the ultimate choice (:
It's definitely way better than Iphone.
So what are you waiting for?
Get yours at the nearest handphone shop around your area now :D

Discover Magic with HTC Magic.
www.htc.com/sea

Labels: Nuffnang Advertisment

2009-07-13T16:27:00.006+08:00

Happy 18th Birthday, My Twins :D

Just as I expected, I was dead beat yesterday after work.
I had blisters like every corner on my both feet ):
I kind of regret helping my dad out at the Car-nival.
Cause it was a much tougher job than what I expect it to be.
Thank god!
There's Chermaine and Kelly.
Anyway, while working yesterday, I saw my dream car!
Ohmygod!
Super cute can?

So pretty in pink right?
I think it's prettier without the black heart stickers.
Don't ya think so?

And I saw Christopher's, Hafizah's & Mine fav. Transformer :D

Say Hello to Bumble Bee, Readers :D

After work, the three of us mrt-ed to Changi Airport and took 27 there to Houg Mall.
Chermaine didn't join us for dinner.
She left after passing us our drinks.
Home sweet home after dinner.

2009-07-12T03:22:00.006+08:00

Time check, it's 3.22 am.
Lao niang only slept for like 2hours yesterday )':
Ohmytianxz, deprived of sleeeeeeeeep!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I need that so badly but I just can't sleep.
Cause I am so used to my nocturnal life!
Fuckxz!
Anyway, Kelly is at my place now.
She is like always on Msn.
Super busy girl!
I'm going to watch Zero to hero.
I shall update this space tomorrow, maybe?
That is provided I am not worn out after work.
Yes, I smell moneyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!
$kachingxz$ $mooolah$ $monehh$
I'm GAY :D
Ciaos~

2009-07-12T02:49:00.004+08:00

Hello Luv,

Happy First Monthsary!

We are one month old :D
I'm glad we made it through this month.
Second Monthsary will be something that we will be lookin' forward now.
Am I right, Baby?
Me, Pui Eh Luvxz You, Fatty.

2009-07-09T01:58:00.004+08:00

Neverbereplaced spells Five A Two'08 (:
Ain't no other guy!

I miss my heros
like how all my heros misses Mrs Cheng
pronouncing time as thumb!

2009-07-06T02:51:00.003+08:00

If I could escape and recreate a place that's my own world
Where I could be your favourite girl, Forever, Perfectly together
Oh boy , wouldn't that be sweet?

2009-07-05T20:15:00.003+08:00

Yesterday (4th July 2009)
Just like what I said in my previous post, I met Baby Fatty.
Escape is really addictive!
Especially, Daytona Go Kart.
I wanna go back there the week after next for more Go Kart experience.
Subway for dinner.
Oh ya, I bought my Braziliano Praia.
And I am so lovin' it!!!!!!!!!!!
Though the colour combination is kind of werid,
Blue base & Red strips.
I like it cause it is unique and got the British feel!
After dinner, we went Paris Ris Park to chill.
Cabbed back to my place at 0000am.
Slacked at the stairs till 1.30am
I wish I could stayed longer but I've to get my ass back home due to my curfew
I swear, I hate curfews!
Cause I love the night life. > ):

Tomorrow is going to be my study day!
And I want to watch Transformers 2!
Transformers reminds me of Christopher.
This part is for you,
See I so good, suddenly think of you than dedicate a part of my post to you.
^^
But I doubt you will read my blog, if you so happen to read it.
This is for you my dear GF.

My dear GF,
Please take real good care of your knee.
The best is you can stop Basketballing for a period of time to let your knee recover.
BUT
I know it's impossible.
So you this stubborn ass just don't get your knee condition worsen and please visit the doctor and go for your physiotherapy
If not Miss Naggy is going to nag the shit out of you yo!!!!!!!

2009-07-05T17:52:00.005+08:00

Everyday is so cold

You are aware about this issue too
But why aren't you doing anything to it?
I can feel you totally
Cause I was once in your shoes
I know it hurts so badly
I know it's not easy for you
But have you ever put yourself into my shoes
At least show me you are trying to love me
This sounds super absurd and pathetic ):
It makes me look like a fool

I am experiencing many mixed feelings now
Apart of me felt it's totally unfair to put me through all the misery
It's like I did nothing to deserve all this stupid shit,
Y'know?
Apart of me feels like giving up
Apart of me wants to hold on & let him have a taste of love that he always longed for
Apart of me wants to overcome this obstacle with him.

Tell me what I should do, God
Or
Should I just leave everything to you?

Perhaps, she's everything, everything that I'm not.

2009-07-02T18:37:00.007+08:00

I didn't really sleep well last night.
Cause I was waiting for Baby Fatty's call.
He only called me at 3 this afternoon.
He really can ton man!(Like Iron Man)
Meeting him this Saturday!
And I will be buying my new Braziliano Praia.
I guess, I will be a happy girl on Saturday (:
______________________________________________________________________

For now, I have to complete the things that are needed to be done by Saturday.
- Geog Revision or Social Studies Revision
- B's SARS research (He is starting school on Monday, I can't procrastinate anymore.)
- Watch Ghosts of Girlfriends Past

I need to sleep early and quit being a nocturnal.
Late nights = Pimple outbreak.
You tell me which girl loves having a pimple outbreak?
Haha.

2009-07-02T03:01:00.004+08:00

Out of the blue,
I miss this good friend of mine.
I hope his girlfriend won't kill me for this.
I got to know this good friend of mine through Friendster when I was like Secondary Two or Three?
So you can say that we knew each other for quite sometime.
Actually, We were off and on good friends.
As at times, we will MIA from each other life.
It's either me or him.
I can't say that we are close cause we don't really understand each other well enough like you know, both parties know each other inside out.
BUT
Somehow he is one of the few which I can really clique with.
It's like we can talk about almost everything under the sun and feel comfortable sharing personal thoughts and feelings with each other.
He will always give me advices and lead me to the better route of life.
You know you can have many friends but not all of them you will feel comfortable sharing personal thoughts and feelings with each other.
Thus, I really miss having him around.
I really miss talking to him.
Be it by text or msn.
Since the day he sent me that text message, I did my part.
Honestly, I was kind of sad plus a lil dissapointed upon reading that text message but I understand that he is in a difficult position.
So yeah, is okay (:
Perhaps, you didn't know how much you mean to me and how much I treasure this friendship between us.
(For god sake, People, Please do not misunderstand.)
And I know it's kind of shocking to you for me to dedicate a post to you.
Cause it's like so unexpected.
BUT
I just want to tell you.
I really miss you, my dear good friend, LLZW (:

Surprise me one day at Msn or my cellphone okay?
You know whenever you need someone, I will always be just a phone call/text away.
Take care!

2009-07-01T01:41:00.003+08:00

Everyday,
I miss you like some retard.
To tell you the truth,
I really don't know how to cope with this.
Me never met such situation before in life.
Thus, I am really lost.
I just have so many bottled up secrets within me and it's killing me ):
One thing for sure,
I don't want to be a coward and take the easy way out.
I want to face everything and work things out.
Cause my love for you is real and I want to prove it to you.

2009-06-30T18:06:00.003+08:00

Woooo hoooo!
I just found out Megan is also posted to ZHSS!
HAHA!
Okay, at least now I got someone to accompany me (:

O levels, you just wait.
I so wanna fuck you upside down.

2009-06-28T15:48:00.003+08:00

Calling all YoursLurvvingly's Readers!
Pretty please help me out with the nuffnang poll (:
Thankyouverythemuch!

2009-06-26T02:47:00.004+08:00

Dear God,
Even if you wanna tear me apart, will you do it after my O levels?
I really can't imagine how things would be like if you were to tear me apart before O levels.
My one last chance to make things right.
I really don't wanna miss that golden chance.
Suddenly, I have this phobia of failing.
Give me the strength to pull through these obstacles.

2009-06-24T15:32:00.008+08:00

22nd June 2009

Happy 18th Birthday
My BabyPigEggWhiteFattyWinnieThePoohPoison!
For once in my life, I felt so busy.
Slept at 6plus in the morning
Cause I was busy thinking of ideas for his birthday present.
Wakie at 10plus.
Met Gladys at Ave 1.
After which, we bused down to Houg Mall.
Bought all the necessary stuff.
Bused down to Houg Point and get the rest of the stuff which I didn't managed to get from Mall.
Walked back home from Houg Point. (Tiring sehxz)
On the way back, Gladys stopped at the Coffee Shop near my place to packet lunch back.
(I skipped my lunch cause I know I will not have the time to eat.)
Rested awhile when I reached home.
Aftermath, I started baking.
Thank God!
It was success at my first attempt.
Made my 爱心便当 after baking the cake.
It was around 5.30 when I am done with all my cooking.
Carried on with his present and birthday card.
Like finally, I finished everything at 7.
Left my place at 8.
Slacked at the void deck for awhile before cabbing down to TPY.
Met My BabyPigEggWhiteFattyWinnieThePoohPoison at the control station while Gladys mrt'd back home.
Both of us went to Sg Flyers.
After the ride, my birthday boy ate his 爱心便当 and birthday cake.
He said it was nice!!!!!!!!!!!! :D
And he also said I was very creative with his present so I guess he liked it?
We cabbed down to Haji Lane as he wanted to sheesha.
Left Haji Lane at 2 due to my curfew.
Reached somewhere near my place at 2.15.
Slacked till 2.45 and HSH (:
Called my BabyPigEggWhiteFattyWinnieThePoohPoison when I reached home.
And we chatted till 5.30am.
No doubt, I was dead beat.
Thus, I slept all the way throughout 23rd June.
I was only awake at 10plus.
Cool or what.
Nevertheless,
I did enjoy 22nd of June.

2009-06-21T00:44:00.004+08:00

Who wants to buy 4-D?
I've recieved my O levels index number yesterday.
I think my index number this year is kind of sucky.
2025.
I think 0368 sounds so much nicer right?
Go buy 4-D!
Maybe can win leh!
LUCKY LUCKY UH!
Okay, I guess, I am real bored!

Actually, I've got so many things to complete but I just keep procrastinating.
HAHAHA!

2009-06-19T18:00:00.002+08:00

Being taken for granted can be a compliment.
It means you’ve become a comfortable, trusted element in another person's life.
So should I be happy about it?

2009-06-18T17:11:00.002+08:00

幸福虽然走了. 你要记得你之少还有我. 我不但会紧握拳头把你的伤心都赶走, 我还会一直爱你,关心你, 照顾你, 保护你和守护你. 为了你,就算要付出多惨的代价,受到多少的伤, 只要我能留你在身边, 我什么都愿意 (: 虽然你的心现在有一道墙, 终有一天, 我希望我的爱会把你的悲伤融化而你又会闻到幸福晴朗的芬芳. - Sheena Ashley

2009-06-12T03:00:00.003+08:00

It's 3am in the morning and I'm tearing )':
因为我发现自己和你的距离.

2009-06-11T23:45:00.002+08:00

When I'm with you, I'll make every second count.
Cause I miss you.
Whenever you're not around.

Labels: I tripped on him and fell into love.

2009-06-11T14:20:00.002+08:00

If only there's a time machine.
I want to fast forward time to tomorrow.
I miss you so badly.
Don't play with my feelings can?

2009-06-10T22:21:00.003+08:00

Wakie at 1pm today.
Ate lunch and watch Boys over flowers at the same time.
Goo Jun Pyo is hot and sweet! (L)
After lunch, prepared and packed my stuff.
Left home at 3pm.
Cab'd down to Junction 8.
Met Hafizah!
We settled down at Kfc.
Had buddy meal (:
After eating, we walked around J8.
I want Sims 3!!!!!!!!!
Anyway, J8 is boring.
So we went Mac for dessert.
After our desert, we walked around J8 again.
While we walked past Food Junction, I saw SH a.k.a Pig!
Texted him and he asked me to meet him.
So after buying Cherilyn and Chermaine's birthday present,
we went over to Food Junction to meet him.
Slacked at there for quite sometime.
At 8pm, Pig's friends and Hafizah headed back home.
While Pig sent me to school.
I went for lesson (Like finally).
Mrs Kim released us late today ):
After lesson, Daddy and Mummy came to fetch me.

To conclude the day:
Imma happy girl today.
And I love my Marie cup (L)

2009-06-08T23:35:00.002+08:00

Met Kelly, Chermaine, Han Wei and Lynette for Jap buffet today.
After our makan session, we went Velocity and Square2.
Like what Kelly said at her blog.
We saw Michelle Chia and Shawn.
Ohmygod!
Shawn is effin' hot!
Lynette went back while Chermaine, Kelly and I went Han Wei's house.
His dog is cute!
I can't wait for Daddy to buy me one!
Mahjong'd as we got nothing to do.
HSH at 8plus.

2009-06-07T15:19:00.004+08:00

Can me and you stay like this forever?
Though it's so near yet so far.
BUT
The feeling is nice, real nice. (:
Definitely better than before, I LIKE, I LOVE!

I wanna be your BFF!
Nevermind, GFF also not bad liao.
Compare to last time.
LMAO!
Imma happy girl (:

2009-06-05T22:55:00.003+08:00

It's alright, It's ok - Ashley Tisdale

Lyrics:
You told me
there's no need
To talk it out
Cause its too late
To proceed
And slowly
I took your words
And Walk Away

No looking back
I wont regret, no
I will find my way
I'm broken
But still I have to say

[Chorus]
It's Alright, OK
I'm so much better without you
I wont be sorry
Alright, Ok
So don't you bother what I do
No matter what you say
I wont return
Our bridge has burnt down
I'm stronger now
Alright , Ok
I'm so much better without you
I wont be sorry

You played me
Betrayed me
Your love was nothing but a game
Portrait a role
You took control, I
I couldn't help but fall
So deep
But now I see things clear

[Chorus]

Don't waist you fiction tears on me
Just save them for someone in need
It's way too late
I'm closing the door

2009-06-04T23:20:00.002+08:00

Time Check: 11.20pm
Just got my ass back home (:
Kelly came over around 3plus.
Slacked till 5plus.
We bused down to Junction 8.
Walked around while waiting for her friends.
We caught Night At The Museum 2 (Like Finally)
After the movie, we mrted to Amk.
All of us besides Han Wei had our dinner there.
Slacked at the food court after we finished our dinner.
At around 10.30pm, we left cause the food court was closing.
Bused home with Kelly.

I can see myself looking on the bright side of life.
I can see myself moving on.
Anyway, it is not my lost.
It's my gain.
I am better off without you and that's so true (:

2009-06-03T19:36:00.002+08:00

Goo Jun Pyo is my ultimate Loverboy.
(L).(L)

2009-06-02T23:40:00.018+08:00

Today was fun!
Chermaine and Kelly came over to my place.
Too bad, Cherilyn couldn't make it cause it was her 17 monthsary.
Nevermind, there's always a next time. (:
One day, we should have a girls day out.
Perhaps, when Kelly and I have money.
So four of us can go shopping together!

WARNING!

Heavy Image Post!

Some pictures are taken with Kelly on the 30th May (:

Hopefully, the pictures will spice up my blog.

Adios! (:

2009-06-02T11:25:00.000+08:00

Mug like how you did for N's.
Use that same motivation.
It will definitely get you there.
Be it NYP or RP, it will be waiting for you.
You know you can't afford to fail.
If not you will be slapping your own mouth (in Chinese).
Oral, next month.
It's time to hit the books and tune in to the exam mode.
Add oil! Add oil!

Labels: Self-note

2009-06-01T23:22:00.001+08:00

Met Liang Hao at 3pm today.
Accompanied him to get his testimonial at Bowen.
After which we slacked at Hans Brother.
Waited for Jason Goh for quite sometime.
Went over to Houg Point.
Bought my screen protector.
Kah Jing came to meet us.
The four of us went to meet Jackson at his block downstairs.
We walked over to Buangkok.
Soon Christopher biked over and meet us.
Since the rest had started playing.
Christopher chatted with me while waiting for his turn.
I wanna learn basketball!
So I can play with them instead of sitting there and looking at them play.
You will not know how boring I am though it is nice looking at them play.
I went home around 8plus.
Even though in my heart, I wanted to stay longer.
I was feeling really terrible and I do not want to break down in front of them.
Thus, I decided to go home.
When I reached home, I went to my room immediately and I broke down.
Alot of mixed emotions.
I'm glad I felt much better after chatting with Mummy.

It is not easy to be who we are today.
I won't let affection ruin our friendship once again (: