I've lost the courage to trust the people in my life.
Who will betray my trust and hurt me, I really don't know.
I've been betrayed not only once or twice.
To be frank, I had already lost count for the number of times I have been betrayed be it by my boyfriends and friends.
The hurt and damage they inflicted on me left me with a phobia of getting hurt.
To be together with ZY, it took me plenty of courage to take that risk and give him my trust.
Everyday, I am crossing my fingers that he won't do anything stupid to betray my trust and hurt me.
As I know if that happens, I will be in doom shitxz!
I think I might even have suicidal thoughts.
Cause I will be fucking lost and hurt at that point of time.
Honestly,
Who can I trust?
Apart from my family.
Friends?
Laugh my ass out!
The one that I placed the most trust in betrayed me.
It has been months since I learned about that news but still I find it super hard to accept reality that he did this to me.
It's like super unexpected and disappointing, you know?
Sigh.
Perhaps, I am too naive and nice.
That's why everyone is taking advantage of me or using my weak point to attack me and see in misery.
Today,
If my heart breaks, it's gonna hurt so bad.
I'm strong, but I can't take that.
I don't think I'll survive a heartbreak again.
Gotta start to learn to protect my heart and soul.
Why must the truth always be so awful?
Why must reality always be cruel?
Is it true that one can only trust him or herself in life?
Labels: Trust, The phobia of being hurt.
