If my tears were up for sale, I would probably be a billionaire now.

Cabbed over to Baby's place after tuition yesterday.

Stayed in his crib till around 4plus.

Aftermath, we cabbed down to Raffles City.

We were super hungry by then.

Thus, we went to hunt for food.

Decided on Mac cause Baby was craving for his double fillet O fish.

After lunch,

We walked over to Marina Square to buy tickets for Final Destination.

Final Destination was nice but I don't understand why the hell everyone must die.

I was expecting a better ending.

According to Baby, every episode everyone has to die and it's well known for it.

For my personal point of view,

After so many episodes,

I think they should come out with something new and fresh as an ending.

During the movie, I was having gastric and my baby was like damm worried.

Keep insisting of bringing me to the doctor.

Doctors are my enemies, I swear.

I hate visiting them.

So I told him, I'd rather go guardian to buy the medicine since I am only given two choices by HIM.

Cabbed back home with Baby.

Baby alighted at ave 4 to meet his friends while I head back home.

When I reached home, I wasn't feel right and I was tired.

Thus, I decided to sleep.

I didn't even know what I was texting Baby.

I was so tired till the extent when he texted me I love you, I replied, K.

I didn't even remember that I replied him that till he told me.

Anyway,

I am a shitty girlfriend these days.

I've inflicted alot of hurt on Baby and I am feeling damm bad about it.

I promise, Baby, just give me one last chance to change.

I won't let such things happen again.

I won't let anything affect our r/s. (Like doing silly things to make it go sour)

I want to last long with you.

You are the best guy that I ever had and I only want to be in your arms till the day I die.

I don't see myself with anyone but you.

Imagine me without you,

I would be so lost and confused.

I really need you in my life.

Cheer up alright?

You know when I see you sad, I feel sadness within me too.

I want to see the happy you asap okay?

I love you, Baby.

Haven't been in the right state of mind for these two days.

Perhaps, it could be PMS but I doubt so.

Today Baby had half day off camp so I went over to his place to accompany him.

I guess I saw something that I shouldn't see or didn't want to see.

I was trying to be an understanding girlfriend thus I told him a white lie.

Somehow, my mood was affected by it.

Hmm, actually not only it and some other stuffs too.

I tried my best to keep everything specially that particular thing out of my sight but I failed.

I dont want to be a selfish girlfriend and moreover, it's memories but somehow I feel uneasy still.

Plus, I was chatting with Jenny over msn and I felt it even more when she was telling about her own love issues. (Something similar)

This feeling really sucks.

No matter how hard I tried to suppress that fucking feeling.

It just won't go away.

At that moment, I really wish I was a guy.

Really.

Why can't girls be like guys?

Why must they always get jealous over such trivial stuff.

They can keep their ex-s stuff but their boyfriend can't.

It's like so unfair to the guy.

I don't want to make a fuss out of it but I know when the next time I visit his place, I would be sad once again.

I wanted to ask him to keep them away but I know if I knew he keep it away, I would also be unhappy.

My heart wants him to throw them away but I will feel fucking bad and unreasonable to ask him to do so.

I wanted to tell him how I feel by texting him but I know he sure tell me that he would throw them away but he might keep them away and if I found out that he keep them away cause he still treasure them, I will feel super unhappy and sad. And if he threw those stuff without my presence, I would still feel paranoid and have this feeling that he is keeping those stuff still.

It's not that I don't trust him.

The one that I do not have any trust in is myself.

Argh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just feel so sucky.

I dont know what the fuck to do.

He did so much for me and I should be understanding and not make a fuss over such a trivial issue cause this is nothing compare to everything he did for me but but but I just can't suppress my feelings.

AND

The english O level oral which I had yesterday made things even sucky.

As I screwed quite a few parts of it and I am really disappointed in myself for not being able to achieve a distinction for oral.

Life's sucha bitch.

Aye, no no no.

It should be Sheena's sucha btich (:

I wish I was a better person.

I wish I was a guy.

I wish my heart is numb so I wouldn't feel anything.

I wish, I wish.

Sigh ):

First date with my super boyfriend.
It was awesomely awesome!
It's like although we are only together for like 4 days but it seems like 4 years.
Everything between us is just so magical and unbelievable.
I gtg already cause my super boyfriend is nagging.

Blogger is seriously a bitch man!
I love this space more than onsugar but it is always a pain in the ass.
Anyway, I am just here to blog that I miss my super BF to the mexico!!!!!!!!
I can't wait to see him tomorrow.
Gonna watch turning point with him.
Aftermath, he will be sending me to school.
I'm the world's most fortunate girl!
Envy me, cause I got the best BF in the whole universe.

Fear means I have something to lose, right?
And the thing that I don't want to lose is you.

Do you know how fucking hard I am trying to be your ideal daughter?

You keep comparing me with all those super nerd geeks.

I am totally different from them but for you, I had to be someone that I am not.

You jolly well know that I love going out to chill with my friends

BUT

You still want to keep me at home like some pet dog.

I know, you meant well for my own being.

O levels are around the corner and this is my second time.

BUT

I am still a human being and I need to breathe.

You want me to call you up everyday and spend time with you.

Sometimes, I am just too busy with my own stuff and I admit that I don't have this habit.

You are in my heart and I don't think there's a need to express my love care and concern to you like everyday?

You tell me which daughter don't love their mother.

AND

You still bear that stupid grudge against me.

Till today, you really don't understand me.

What I told him was what I thought of you.

I didn't bullshit or whatsoever.

Who is the real victim of that matter?

It was actually ME not you!

ME okay?

For that period of time when I broke up with JH,

I swear,

I really thought you are not as bad as what I thought you were.

BUT

Once after I recovered from the break up,

You are back to the usual you.

So what is the difference?

This cycle will never end.

I am 18 already and I really can't stand the feeling of being tied up.

I want to be who I am.

The Sheena you are seeing every day is not the REAL Sheena.

I swear, if this continues, after O levels, I will find some job and move to somewhere else.

I really HATE to have conflicts with you

and

I really HATE the fact you always hurt me with those harsh comments.

You are really damm hard to please.

I don't know how much longer can I hold on.

At times, I really wish I could just run away from this home.

Whatever I do, it is always never enough for you.

You said I never once put myself into your shoes.

I swear, I did.

It is you, who never once put YOURSELF into MY shoes.

Bruised and battered by everything.

Surprise to see me blogging in this space?
I just can't resist the temptation to blog.

I shall do a little update about my current life.

It's over between me and LSH.

We have broken up afew days ago.

It is definitely better for us this way.

We are just not suitable for each other.

Hope he's doing fine now (:

Cause I've moved on.

As for studies wise, my english oral is just this coming thursday.

The thought of it sends chills down my spine.

Hopefully, I am able to do well for this year's oral. (Ain't like last year)

Anyway, I caught G.I Joe today, like finally.

It was an awesome show but still Transformers is the best.

And I really don't know why I am so afraid of killer shows.

Caught Orphan yesterday and it is fucking gruesome.

It was even more gruesome than Friday 13th.

Nightmare!

That's all folks for today's update.

I'll be back soon, I promise :D

Prolly, tomorrow? the day after tomorrow?

I am considering whether I should start blogging again.

And I think I should.

It looks like I have come up with a decision already (: