Everyday is so cold

You are aware about this issue too
But why aren't you doing anything to it?
I can feel you totally
Cause I was once in your shoes
I know it hurts so badly
I know it's not easy for you
But have you ever put yourself into my shoes
At least show me you are trying to love me
This sounds super absurd and pathetic ):
It makes me look like a fool

I am experiencing many mixed feelings now
Apart of me felt it's totally unfair to put me through all the misery
It's like I did nothing to deserve all this stupid shit,
Y'know?
Apart of me feels like giving up
Apart of me wants to hold on & let him have a taste of love that he always longed for
Apart of me wants to overcome this obstacle with him.

Tell me what I should do, God
Or
Should I just leave everything to you?

Perhaps, she's everything, everything that I'm not.